So, the photo on the right is today, 2017. The photos on the left are, on top, me from 2012, when I’d lost a lot of weight, and 2013, when I gained it all back. If I get to the other computer I’ll see if I can find photos from the same day in ’14, ’15 and ’16. I never realized when I started putting up photos that I’d end up with such an interesting resource.
So, anyway, how did you guys survive the blizzard, those of you who had it? We got thirty inches or more, coming down at 4 inches per hour at times, with a strong wind. Every school in the state was closed, and we know how to deal with snow in Vermont. Now we’re opening windows (it’s only 50 or so but it’s nice to get fresh air.)
Speaking of being fabulous, I’ve decided I have to go back swimming again. I feel like I’m living in a coffin-shaped box – that’s about how much I move and can move. It’s only in the water that I can really stretch out. It takes time and money, but neither price is crushing (I can swim for $100 for 6 months and the pool is available from 6 am to 8 pm (with two hours off in the afternoon for students). The drive takes about half an hour, but if I lived in NYC or near traffic it would take that long or longer – it’s 24 miles away). All the time changing and showering is time I don’t waste at home doing the same thing (I go under the shower before I get in the pool). I can’t walk, my replaced shoulder is incredibly stiff and painful, and I my body’s become a prison. Plus, I won’t get all the exercise I usually get in the summer when I’m acting. Gotta do something.
The weight is staying off (though not dropping lower – it would be lovely to drop below 220 and stay there.) My big goal is to get below 200 and stay there for a while. I guess I need to put a little more effort into it, but right now it’s absolutely painless – I don’t lust for sugar and fried food and huge amounts. But I could probably cut healthy carbs back a little.
It’s nice when it’s no longer vanity motivating me. My relationship with vanity has always been contentious (I think that’s true for most people). My sister was beautiful, and she always made it clear that she was the pretty one. That backfired because she started feeling that being pretty was her only value, and she basically ate herself to death (it said her death was caused by COPD complicated by obesity). And in fact I’ve been going through old photos and looking at myself dispassionately and realizing I’ve always felt way too negative about myself. I remember about 50 years ago Buffalo Springfield had a song about “pretty girl, why not love me?” and I wept because I wasn’t a pretty girl. And you know, I was. Almost all 18 year old girls are.
Feeling good feels a lot better than looking good, and that’s my goal. Tomorrow I will lumber onto the scale – nope, that’s too negative. I will trip lightly onto the scale, face the music, and move on.
I can’t fix everything (there’s a stunner!) and I can’t fix much, but there are things I can do.
So tell me, what’s up for you guys? Anyone serious about their weight and their mobility right now? Or is work a major consideration? Family? I’ve got all three things pulling at me, and the body tends to be the first thing to go by the wayside but I’ve got to spend time on me if I want to do all those other things. Seems I’ve got energy right now.
So … wassup?