Krissie: Gluttony

21 Nov

Crusie and I have been blessed. During all our gluttony we each only gained about 2 pounds. Jenny a definite two pounds, and unfortunately I cracked the 230 mark at 230.5, but considering the muffins, pecan braids, fries with gravy, etc. that’s a blessing. Plus I drank a lot more DC than usual. So as a thank you to the Goddess of Fat, Adiposia, I will now remember what I wanted to do. Remember how I started. No fast good (though we didn’t do much of that). No more fries and gravy and that kind of crap. No. More. White. Sugar. Read my lips.
Now can I do this while I finishing a book and living with depression?
I think I need to not be rigid, but I think the sugar, so prevalent during this season, should be a zero tolerance issue. I can and will bake with alternatives. I can even have white potatoes or white rice occasionally, possibly even a white roll. But if I can get away from the sugar, which became quite strong in the last few weeks, that will be a big help.
Urgh. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed at being home, of course. Too many things to do — food shopping, make a path through things, finish the book, figure out Thanksgiving. Well, figure out what I want to do about Thanksgiving.
And I miss Jenny. Miss her part of NJ, miss getting up, talking about what we’re going to do, heading into our corners.
But this is a really good time for her. She’s going to get her eating back under control just as I am (I nobly ate the last pecan braid from Panera’s so she wouldn’t be tempted. It was a great sacrifice on my part).
But Jenny can now find her own rhythm. She can sit in the living room and crochet when she needs a break from all the work for McDaniels and writing. She can go through the things at the house and put things where she wants them, in the garage or the attic, loft, head-banger suite upstairs. She can start organizing her life, particularly since she doesn’t have the daunting size of Squalor on the River to deal with. Casa de Rental isn’t a bad house, she’s got a good workspace set up (the leaves to the table are in the closet in my room, Jenny) and the living room is comfortable now with more lights and two tvs. So things are good.
I came home to Squalor Holler. With stuff like grief and pressure about money and depression and chaos and deadline pressure and the holidays bearing down on me, I have to figure out a way to deal with things.
I will. I do know the med change isn’t enough. Or maybe it is. I’ll give it a few days here. No, I don’t think so. I’m very snappish, and that’s not like me.
WE’ll figure it out. Bird by bird.
But no white sugar is a definite. You crash from white sugar. Yes, white other stuff turns to sugar in the body, but it’s not as dramatic, and you don’t get the same sugar rush which keeps feeding itself.
At least, that’s what I think.
God, I’m overwhelmed right now.

26 Responses to “Krissie: Gluttony”

  1. AuntieJB November 21, 2012 at 10:30 am #

    “Bird by bird” is the key. Take the first thing in front of you and deal with it. Everything else will have to wait. No arguments. “One thing at a time” is the only way I can get through the depression when it hits me.

    Don’t make any lists. Just pick the thing that’s standing in front of you and handle it. Then deal with the next thing. Richie will understand. Everyone will understand.

    You can do this. I did it and I’m a baby.

  2. Jenny November 21, 2012 at 11:36 am #

    Come back.
    I have Morning Glory muffins and many DVDs, not to mention Amazon Prime, Hulu Plus, a Bernina that you’ve already set up, and the Scrivener for Dummies book. You should be here.

    • German Chocolate Betty November 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

      Aw, Jenny, I can understand that — but isn’t it a bit mean?? (smile — I felt the same way when my best bud left after a 10 day visit)

  3. Sure Thing November 21, 2012 at 11:45 am #

    There’s a typos in them thar hills “No fast good” and it is apropos (is that the correct use of the word?) Because – no fast is good for you – do not fast. No fast food is good for you. Etc etc.

    I wish I could come and help you with your clutter. Then you could help me with mine :-D In fairness though, mine is not as bad as yours.

    • Krissie November 22, 2012 at 9:56 am #

      freudian typo, clearly.

  4. JenniferNennifer November 21, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Feeling overwhelmed always makes me feel rushed as well. Let’s try to take the time to notice the nice things that show up in the day (late blooming flower, nice sunset, beloved spouse) no matter how many birds are out there waiting to be dealt with.

    I will if you will.

  5. Terri Osburn November 21, 2012 at 12:59 pm #

    I understand having everything clean and decluttered and perfect and the book done and holidays over seems like it will make life all better. But there is no time line in reality. Well, for the book there is. Which is why that’s where you need to focus. Especially since writing makes you feel happier and turning the book in will relieve stress in other areas.

    If I really look at all I need to do, my brain runs and hides. Even though I know if I’d just do it I’d feel better. But then again I’m always busy and always working on something and that means not beating myself up. It’s not as if I’m sitting around doing nothing. Only then could I justify really beating myself up.

  6. Sarah Wynde November 21, 2012 at 1:12 pm #

    “I have to figure out a way to deal with things”

    That sounds like a trap to me. You can’t solve grief and depression and anxiety and the bigger you make the pile of things that you have to control and manage and figure out and solve, the more overwhelmed you’re going to feel. If you set your goals smaller, you’ll get to experience a lot more successes. I wanted to do a 20/10 a day, but this week I’m settling for making my bed every day and not leaving dirty dishes in the sink at night.

    • Krissie November 22, 2012 at 9:58 am #

      You’re right.

  7. Debbie Richardson November 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Thank you for the amazingly open way you share. Letting people in to your world and how you handle things can be very helpful. I know I relate and reading your experiences just lets me know I’m not alone.
    Thank you!

  8. Mary Stella November 21, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

    Has anyone else tried Necteresse? It alleges to be derived from all natural plant life, no chemicals and no calories. Tasted good to me in my tea.

  9. skay November 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

    I was going to recommend Necteresse. Just made the cranberry relish. I used two packages in place of 1 cup sugar. Other people might like it sweeter but that is easy to fix.

    I haven’t tried baking with it. I have only used it on my cereal til today. It’s sweeter than Splenda.

  10. Maria Powers November 21, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    I was going to say what Sarah said. Here’s my motto for the holidays especially. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CP5mFTq6vv0 It’s my favorite holiday song. I play it over and over and over. Yep, a little OCD and okay with that.

    Also, one thing per day period. I only need to get one thing done each day. Sure, I’ll do other things, but that is the first thing I do and nothing else interferes and then whatever else doesn’t get done is just to bad.

  11. Lois November 21, 2012 at 2:35 pm #

    I find coming home after being away is always overwhelming – there’s too much mail, too much clutter, phone calls to return, just too much.
    As to food – maybe if you are tracking everything you will find something that is bothering you. Years ago we did this 4 day rotating diet for allergies. I discovered that pork makes me yell at everyone. It feels like Extreme PMS. So as much as I love pork, I try not to eat it (I do have bacon once in a while). Just this past Sunday I was excited to try free range, locally grown, no added antibiotics or hormones pork. Yup even with that I found everyone VERY irritating!

  12. MJ November 21, 2012 at 3:47 pm #

    “Getting Things Done” guru David Allen writes, “[Y]our mind keeps reminding you of things when you can’t do anything about them. It has no sense of past or future…Everything you’ve told yourself you ought to do, it thinks you should be doing *right now.*”

    His solution is to focus not on managing your time, but on managing your actions. Kinda like the bird-by-bird approach, you look at what one thing you can do right now to move you closer to your goal. Of course, he has a system of list-making and so forth, but really, it’s looking at what you can do in the next couple minutes. And then the next couple minutes after that.

    Glad you’re getting help with the depression. All will be well, and all will be well…just not all at once.

  13. Louise November 21, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    Perhaps writing up a schedule would help clear the mind of trying to organize everything. Perhaps schedule is the wrong word. Just write the things down that you want to do, or have done, and as they’re done you tick them off. Bit like a wish list :-)

    Take care Krissie … lots of rest and enjoyable music.

  14. Louise November 21, 2012 at 4:08 pm #

    Perhaps writing up a schedule would help clear the mind of trying to organize everything. Perhaps schedule is the wrong word. Just write the things down that you want to do, or have done, and as they’re done you tick them off. Bit like a wish list :-)

    Take care Krissie … lots of rest and enjoyable music in between ticking off the jobs on your list.

    • Louise November 21, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

      OOOPS! Sorry … Don’t know how that happened.

  15. Brussel Sprout November 21, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    Go swimming/swim-walking as you detox from the sugar. Seriously – exercise is the way to get through the withdrawal, and speaking as someone with a full on sugar issue, I would say there is a withdrawal. My two ways of coping are 1) fresh air 2) exercise. If you can get walking/gardening/swimming/yoga & be outdoors (Vermont, November erm, maybe not;-)) it will help. And quilting/knitting/keeping fingers busy also helps.

    Good luck and don’t forget that grief needs a good long time to dissipate from its full force. Your mother’s death was a hurricane – now you are living with the clean-up operation. Be kind to yourself.

    There are days when I watch Arthur’s story, I cry and I get back on the horse. I hope it helps you too.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

  16. Robena Grant November 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    Hang in there, and I’m in the camp of do one good thing a day and then congratulate yourself for a job well done. Sheesh. Wish I could take my own good advice.

  17. Lynda November 21, 2012 at 6:22 pm #

    I wish you would remove the word “gluttony” from your vocabulary. It’s one that got thrown at me from time to time in my childhood, at what I still think were inappropriate times, and it triggers all kinds of negative emotions that I don’t want. You don’t need them, either. You are a mature, capable adult who’s under a lot of pressure and who’s developed some bad eating habits. That is NOT the same as gluttony. So cut it out, already.

    And cutting out sugar isn’t a bad way to begin changing habits. Deal with other foods later. Bird by bird, sweetie. Bird by bird.

  18. Kieran November 21, 2012 at 7:25 pm #

    Ride it like a roller coaster. Let the world carry you along with it tomorrow, on Thanksgiving. Just be. That’s when the good things happen!!!

  19. Christine Ashworth November 22, 2012 at 11:56 am #

    Sending love and hugs!

  20. kate November 22, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

    at least your hair looks good.

  21. Skye November 22, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. Be well and happy.

  22. Micki November 23, 2012 at 6:09 am #

    Have you ever gotten fruit from Harry and David? They are really stupid about the shipping, so I had to stop sending it to my mom (she’s out during the day, and the UPS guy in town leaves it to freeze on the porch — and when you pay extra for USPS, stupid H&D change it back to UPS and still charge you until you phone up and complain at length).

    But, fruit for the holidays: 1) healthy. 2) delicious. 3) no clutter — you either eat it, or it rots and gets thrown away in a couple of months. 4) really quite luxurious.

    The last few years, I haven’t done well with traditional sweets. I get sick to my stomach with a just a few butter cookies (topped with icing), so I’ve been trying to head more toward fruit, nuts and savoury snacks like cheese sticks.

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