Crusie and I have been blessed. During all our gluttony we each only gained about 2 pounds. Jenny a definite two pounds, and unfortunately I cracked the 230 mark at 230.5, but considering the muffins, pecan braids, fries with gravy, etc. that’s a blessing. Plus I drank a lot more DC than usual. So as a thank you to the Goddess of Fat, Adiposia, I will now remember what I wanted to do. Remember how I started. No fast good (though we didn’t do much of that). No more fries and gravy and that kind of crap. No. More. White. Sugar. Read my lips.
Now can I do this while I finishing a book and living with depression?
I think I need to not be rigid, but I think the sugar, so prevalent during this season, should be a zero tolerance issue. I can and will bake with alternatives. I can even have white potatoes or white rice occasionally, possibly even a white roll. But if I can get away from the sugar, which became quite strong in the last few weeks, that will be a big help.
Urgh. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed at being home, of course. Too many things to do — food shopping, make a path through things, finish the book, figure out Thanksgiving. Well, figure out what I want to do about Thanksgiving.
And I miss Jenny. Miss her part of NJ, miss getting up, talking about what we’re going to do, heading into our corners.
But this is a really good time for her. She’s going to get her eating back under control just as I am (I nobly ate the last pecan braid from Panera’s so she wouldn’t be tempted. It was a great sacrifice on my part).
But Jenny can now find her own rhythm. She can sit in the living room and crochet when she needs a break from all the work for McDaniels and writing. She can go through the things at the house and put things where she wants them, in the garage or the attic, loft, head-banger suite upstairs. She can start organizing her life, particularly since she doesn’t have the daunting size of Squalor on the River to deal with. Casa de Rental isn’t a bad house, she’s got a good workspace set up (the leaves to the table are in the closet in my room, Jenny) and the living room is comfortable now with more lights and two tvs. So things are good.
I came home to Squalor Holler. With stuff like grief and pressure about money and depression and chaos and deadline pressure and the holidays bearing down on me, I have to figure out a way to deal with things.
I will. I do know the med change isn’t enough. Or maybe it is. I’ll give it a few days here. No, I don’t think so. I’m very snappish, and that’s not like me.
WE’ll figure it out. Bird by bird.
But no white sugar is a definite. You crash from white sugar. Yes, white other stuff turns to sugar in the body, but it’s not as dramatic, and you don’t get the same sugar rush which keeps feeding itself.
At least, that’s what I think.
God, I’m overwhelmed right now.