So I checked Netdiary and I was eating too little. Obediently ate more. Not bad stuff, just more, like a bowl of bran cereal (my body really likes it and that’s all I’m gonna say) and lots and lots of fruit and a huge salad (with too many croutons but wtf).
Missed weighing since the day after I got home, so I popped out of bed, all hopeful and got fucking 243 again!
Now, mind you, my rings are so tight I can’t get them off. And … my clothes are loose. I had to put my bra on a tighter hook, my turtleneck flows around my hips instead of clings, and the (elastic) waistband of my jeans is loose. So I’m not going to have anything more than a temporary hissy fit, stamp my foot, and then go back to work. Haven’t been able to swim (next week) but I found my Richard Simmons sitting dvd (still shrink-wrapped) so presumably that’ll have fun music. And I’m fond of Richard. I know he drives a lot of people crazy but I think he’s basically a sweetheart, and I like over the top personalities.
But mostly I’ve got to ignore everything and work. I’m gonna ditch seeing my mother today because my sister’s former partner always visits on Saturdays. If I can find a little time to sew that would be great, but mostly I gotta put my head down and concentrate on getting work done. First, because it’s overdue. But second, because I always feel better when I’ve written.
But I learned with the last one that I have to watch it. I made myself feel so sick from exhaustion when I finished the last book that I vowed never to do that again. So I am going to make time to swim next week, damn it. And I’m going to do something crafty at least a couple of days a week (either jewelry or sewing). Or I’m going to go insane.
Life shouldn’t be about the destination. Yes, I need to finish the book and come up with a proposal. But I love both of the stories and to beat myself up over them robs me of the joy. And if I take everything else out of life but my duties it’s makes me sad and sick and colorless.
Here’s my challenge. Not to let numbers get me down. They can annoy me, but I’m not going to pay attention.
Get the work done, but do it joyfully.
Go to my sewing machine and play.
I’ll worry about weeding out the clothes and the patterns after next week (when the book is due).
Or … I can sit on the bed watching tv and going through baskets of clothes. Same with patterns.
Oh, and damn, I want to finish the new Teresa Medeiros book, THE PLEASURE OF YOUR KISS, which absolutely rocks! Plus I dug out the book I never read, called I DON’T HAVE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, which I think might be useful.
Aiyeee!!! Too many things.
Bird by bird, Krissie. Bird by bird.