Okay, I accomplished a fair amount yesterday. Made the three doctor phone calls, called the courts and printed out the paper work (can’t finish that up until tomorrow or Thursday because the person is out), then went and deposited checks and visited with Sally while she’s trying to finish the quilt she started making when her daughter got pregnant (Caleb’s almost a year old). It’s an incredibly labor-intensive embroidered and applique’d quilt so I’m keeping her company and catching up with Homeland.
As for the hair, I think I’ll make an appointment and get it shaped just a bit. I’m going to be in civilization for four weeks (two at Crusie’s, two in the city with Sally while we dog-sit on East 66th St.) so I think I’ll play with my inner Barbie.
Ah, speaking of inner …
I need to remember my inner Dresden ballerina. I’m feeling a little unsettled right now, for a number of reasons but playing roulette with my meds doesn’t help. So I think I need to just keep being positive and not give in to the drama.
I picked up a useful tip — when you body goes into fight or flight mode (in my case usually flight) you need to stop and try deep breathing. It can shortcut the anxiety.
So as I start to get edgy about all the things I need to do I stop and take a few nice deep breaths.
Sunday was a strange day. I missed two missives concerning money — one was an email with an attachment about money for Kaim, the other was a Christmas card from a dear, dear friend. I’d been too ambivalent about Christmas to open any cards, and I finally found them under a stack of magazines. In the card was a check. Burst into tears, of course.
It was such a lovely gift. Not the money — I tore up the check and then burned the pieces. But that someone cared that much about me. Needless to say, I thanked her profusely, and I know it was sent from love. Still couldn’t accept it, but it was such a loving gesture that it cheered me immeasurably.
So when I’m down or anxious I need to remember that I am loved, and that this too shall pass. It always does, no matter how bad things can seem. And right now things are stable, my inner Dresden ballerina is doing pirouettes and my inner Barbie bought new mascara. I’m heading to NJ on Friday and all I have to do is write and play.
Crusie and I are going to wrap each other in duct tape and belly dance (not at the same time) and I’ll cuddle the dogs while she paints and we’re going to have a blast.
Nothing but good times ahead.